


Cover girls don't cry

by unmeiboy



Category: AKB48, AKB48 & Related Fandoms, Johnny's Entertainment, Kis-My-Ft2 (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 17:33:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8762482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unmeiboy/pseuds/unmeiboy





	

“I'll get home on my own,” Haruna tells her manager as she goes off the variety show set, heading for her dressing room. It's not the first time this happens, not at this TV station's studio, and she sees on the manager's face that she's starting to suspect something. Haruna won't deny that she has been doing suspicious things before either, but not with this manager, not so far, and she won't let her know unless she asks.

Because she's not going home, and it's obvious that her manager is suspecting exactly that. But she doesn't know where she's going instead, why or with who, and that's something Haruna will keep quiet about for as long as possible. The hope that her manager will be okay with it is faint, but she chooses to hold on to it.

Fujigaya's eyes are warm when he greets her, and there's a tension between them that lightens just the slightest when they get into his car and he strokes the back of his hand along the outside of her thigh. Haruna guesses he feels the way she does; wants to touch, wants to be close, as soon as possible, but avoiding it because they shouldn't even be seen together, especially not when it's just the two of them.

The parking lot under the apartment complex Fujigaya lives them is how they manage to get in and out of his apartment unnoticed, and as soon as they're inside, he pulls her in to brush his lips against hers. There's no hunger in it, just calms her as she kisses him back, presses as close against his chest as she possibly can. It won't be like this all night, Haruna knows it and she's anticipating it, but for now she will enjoy the gentleness and comfort that he provides.

Later the same night she's on her back and he's inside her, she's breathless and gasping for air as he gives her pleasure unlike any she has received from anybody else. Fujigaya is an expert with her body, it's like he knows it in and out and it has been like that since the first time they ended up in bed together. Of course there's the visual part too, how good he looks on top of her, on his back as she rides him. But also simply the feeling of his hands on her skin when she can't see him, his whispered words as dirty as they're hot, his rushed breathing when he's about to come. All of it comes together into one big perfect mess. Haruna knows she wants this, and not just as a fling.

Because it isn't. She knows it, sees it in Fujigaya's eyes when he kisses her in the morning, when he can't keep his hands off her while they shower even though he keeps to fairly innocent touches, feels it when he pulls her arms around him and then falls asleep like that. To her it's acts that show vulnerability, and at least she never shows any emotional vulnerability to her one-night-stands, or short-lasting flings.

That's why it hurts when Haruna realizes her manager has been looking into it. She still doesn't intend to say anything about it, but then during a drive between a magazine studio and the TV studio Fujigaya and his group are filming at that day, the manager speaks up.  
“Do you want me to drive you home tonight?” It sounds like she knows what the answer will be; Haruna shakes her head and tells her no in a low voice. There's a couple minutes where the only thing that fills the air is the sound of the car and the traffic around them, then she speaks again. “It's Fujigaya-san, isn't it?”

It's not like this hasn't happened before. It's not the first time she gets questioned about relationships she's not supposed to be having. But it is the first time she fights to hold back tears, the first time her chest feels tight at the question, and she's sure it is because she doesn't want to have to let go.  
“Mm,” she admits, can't say anything more because just that sound already sounds like she might be about to cry.

Luckily it turns out that the manager won't say anything, that she intends to keep quiet for her sake for as long as possible. She doesn't tell Fujigaya either, that someone other than the two of them know about them. Just stays with him at night, enjoys every minute of it until the day that her phone starts buzzing with that inevitable call.

“Yes?” she asks, tries to sound like she doesn't know what the management wants to say.  
“Can you come to the office after your shoot today?”  
“Got it.” She exhales a long breath after hanging up, but that's all. Haruna is a professional, and her model face is on to a hundred percent throughout the fashion shoot that follows. The pressing feeling on her chest doesn't show on her photos, it _can't_ show on her photos, but she gets an okay, checks the photos and agrees. The knot in her stomach grows when she leaves to change clothes, and only grows during the car ride to the management office.

“You affair with Fujigaya Taisuke is not a great idea.” The man in front of her looks at her with stern eyes, and she wants to spit something back at him about it not being an affair, but she knows it's no use. “He's famous, you're famous.”  
“Can't it possibly boost both of us, though?” she tries. There's no point in trying to deny their relationship. The management only ever call when they have proof. Or when the magazines have them.  
“There were rumors about you back when you filmed Ikemen desu ne, and it wouldn't be good if the magazines made it seem like you have been dating since then.” There's no way she will win this argument. Haruna bites into her lower lip and diverts her eyes as she waits for the words she knows are coming. “Stop meeting with him.”  
“Break up with him, you mean,” she mumbles, because he's more a boyfriend than any of the others she has been told the same about. She can't hide the anger in her eyes when she looks up at the man, and for the first time she sees him hesitating. Even so he doesn't say anything, and she turns around without another look at him.

Haruna waits until evening, when she knows Fujigaya's filming has ended and he should be home, or at least heading that way. Then she calls.  
“Hey,” Fujigaya says as he picks up; she swallows once at the sound of his voice. “Anything wrong?”  
“Are you alone?” She continues before he answers. “Can we talk?”  
“You wanna come over? I have an early morning tomorrow, but you don't sound okay.” Just those simple words force her to fight tears. He really cares about her.  
“I can't.” For a minute they are both silent, but the sound of him breathing makes her calmer, her brain used to hearing the rhythm in a comfortable situation. “They found out.”  
“Magazines?”  
“Management. They told me I can't see you anymore.” Fujigaya falls silent again. “I can't do anything about it.”  
“Mm.” He hums, more to himself, perhaps, before he continues. “You're going to graduate.”  
“It might take another year before I actually do.”  
“I can wait.” Fujigaya sounds so determined that she can nearly see his face inside her mind, and it breaks her heart.  
“Don't. It wouldn't be good for you. Or your career.” That's her common sense speaking, and she never tells him that if she were to be honest, nothing would make her happier. But with her reputation there wouldn't be a good result for him no matter if she has graduated or not. Haruna wishes she didn't care, but she does. And that's exactly why it's so hard. “I'll see you around the TV studios.”  
“Can I still call you?” Fujigaya's voice has changed now, towards upset but in a calm fashion.  
Haruna bites the inside of her lip before she answers. “You shouldn't.” This is the moment, she thinks, has to tell herself that a dozen times before she reaches the final word. “Goodbye.”

She barely hears Fujigaya answer before she hangs up on him, puts her phone down. The city below her window shines back at her through the dark, but the sight only makes her feels smaller instead of the power it usually gives her; makes her emotions spill over, and just for today, tonight, she ignores everything else, lets tears trickle down her cheeks.


End file.
